Grief is a different kind of beast. Its unpredictable, and everyone handles it differently. Its no one size fits all sort of thing. I think this is why they’re different books, and articles out there offering help and guidance. I can honestly say that I’ve read maybe about 1-2 articles on grieving. There are just certain experiences and topics that I can’t tackle on my own, and need help with. And that’s okay! So, I have my therapist in my contacts and call the office to schedule an appointment whenever I feel the doom coming on. What is the “doom?’ Its when I feel the dark clouds over me, when I feel that I have lost control over my emotions. So, I catch it when its early and go and see her for a few sessions.

This is the first installment of my Grief series!

Last year I needed the help. It was the first Holiday season without my mom. I felt my mood shifting early on in the month of October and I deactivated my Instagram, and only posted stories on Snapchat. I follow abut 10 people there and just guarded my mental. I guarded myself from all of the happy posts and pictures that would be on everyone’s time lines. I didn’t want to succumb to comparisons, and I didn’t need reminders of what other have that I no longer did—a mother. A living mother.

I returned to Instagram in February of 2019, and I felt great! First thing that I did was revamp my friends list by unfollowing the accounts that didn’t fill me up with love or positivity. This included; vain celebrities, influencers, of store accounts, and now follow people that I feel a connection with or vibe with, and I follow cute animal accounts, but most importantly I mixed in my Spirituality as well! I follow accounts that educate me, enlighten me, encourage me, and have met people along the way that have given me a boost of confidence when it comes to sharing the knowledge that I have accumulated during these years of studying, and evolvement when it comes to the spiritual. I came into 2019 set on bring gentle with myself and with my needs. and cleaning out my social media was a huge part of this. I didn’t need to deactivate any account this year, and have remained active—THE GROWTH!

I’ve done plently of Oracle and Tarot card readings this year. I have also been more open with people when it comes to their energy, and the vibes that I am able to pick up from them, and by doing this I am able to learn to trust my intuition, and that little voice inside of my head, the one that tells me things or warns me of things. Do you have one of those? If you don’t know or think that you don’t, make sure to REALLY listen, or make the decision and declaration that you are open and have opened yourself up to it. It can be life changing! I am able to pick up the energy of the unborn babies in-utero (I can usually pick up the sex of a baby), the energy/vibes of animals, toddlers, people in general. Again, thank you if you have been open to me when it comes to this, and have let me “practice’ on you.

I am excited for the upcoming year. I will continue to be loving, gentle, patient, and kind with myself. I will continue expressing myself artistically and spiritually as well as making sure that my boundaries are expressed, and respected. Boundaries, my favorite word of the year. Never knew how much I needed to get acquainted with it until 2019.

Are you vocal about your boundaries? Can you identify three personal ones off the top of your head?

Love and light always, Cin.