The morning of December 29th 2017 is the day that everything changed. The day my mother known to many as Gladys transitioned. I miss you every single day.

I will love you forever mamí.

My mom and I still communicate. That’s how I know how proud of me she is. The way she gently and sometimes fiercely nudges me. She had to check me and remind me that I am “a sweetheart”.

When she passed away I had to learn to communicate with her differently. The smells that are unexplained, things moving, hearing her favorite songs that haven’t been on the radio in years come on. Seeing her favorite colors, doves! Oh the doves always remind me of her. And more. I’ve gotten hugs from her and have felt her touch. And yet… I still feel the void. Thank you for everything my love.

Yours,

Cin.

Hi! The last two or three months I’ve been feeling guided, urged and even nagged to the point that I knew that I needed to film this video. It’s me in a raw moment of grief. At this point I had been feeling triggered throughout the week and felt like I was reaching a boiling point. I try not to let it get to that point but it did.

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This picture was taken right after I filmed the video. I felt lighter, and happier. I share this to say…

Do not worry too much about me. I’ll be alright. I’ll be better than alright. This is just me sharing what this grieving rollercoaster ride can look like. It can take you forward, backwards at times, upside down but also upside up. It has its ugly, ugly moments, but along with the ugly there is also beauty.

Love, light, the shadow too—-Cin.

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7 YEARS…

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