The next thing that I saw (sorta like a daydream) was myself laying down on grass. It was a huge field with wild flowers, and Mountain View’s in the distance. It was just me there. It was a nice sunny day. “What are you feeling? Thinking?” Neoshi asked. “I’m just waiting for my next meal. And wondering when it will come.” I felt like I was in South America? But wasn’t sure. I saw myself stand up and making my long walk towards a small cottage, where my mom was. She had called me inside to eat. We ate bread. She was an older woman. Fair skin. She had a wrinkled face which felt like she was in her late 50s early 60s. She was a bread maker and sold it for a living. It was just the two of us. “Does her energy feel familiar to you? Can you recognize who she is?” she asked. “Uhh I don’t know it feels like… looks like.. gasp. My great grandmother! My mom’s grandma.” Life felt repetitive. I felt bored and felt a yearning for more. “Is this all there is?” “What name does she call you?” She asked. “An M name… Martin? Martin.”

Fast forward to another time in that life. It was a painful memory. I was at my mother’s bedside. She was dying and I was a mess. She was unresponsive and I was holding her hand in both of mine. I was kneeling bed side and had her hands on my face. Sobbing. Wondering what I’d do without her? What would become of me? How could I go on alone? After she passed. I remained by her side for hours. I saw when I stood up and pulled the covers over her head, and turned away from her and carried on.

Fast forward to another part of that life. I was at a pub. I was celebrating. This is when I realized that I was a man. I had curly red hair. All that I kept seeing were beer pint glasses full to the brim and me toasting and cheering with others. So much singing! Singing so many songs and dancing and celebrating. “What are you celebrating? Is it something for you?”… “Hmm I’m not sure.” I answered. “Okay, let’s take you to another moment to see if we can find out what it is you’re celebrating.”

Hmmm… I see a beautiful woman with red curly hair. She’s wearing clothes like back in the days, with buckles on her shoes. She’s radiant. Wearing a fancy hat, and one of those cloth umbrellas women use for the sun. And that’s when I saw it, me looking up at her face as I slid a ring on her finger! I was proposing! I had been celebrating my engagement at the pub!

Forgive me, because I’m not sure if this part happened before the bar scene or after. But, I saw myself as a shoe maker in that life. I saw myself hammering the soles, and being focused on my craft. I stood up, looked at my work space, and closed and locked the door to head home. I saw myself walking slowly up a hill, with both hands in my pockets. Head low. I felt defeated. Wondering… “Is this all there is?” Fast forward to my death. I saw myself in a bed made out of wood. I saw my wife, looking not as radiant caring for me. I didn’t know what was wrong or what happened so Neoshi guided me back to see what led me to being bedridden. I saw myself looking up at someone, I was on one knee, with one arm shielding my face. All went black. And then cut to the coma. Yes, I was in a coma. I was conscious though. And I felt like a prisoner in my own body. I could hear and was aware that my wife was just wishing that I’d die already. I too wished that. I longed for my death to come because she deserved to be free. And I didn’t want to continue on like that. I passed away. With her by my side. I wasn’t sure if any one else was there, but I was very aware that she was. She looked like me when my mother passed. On her knees at my bedside with my hand in hers. Sobbing. Heartbroken. I felt my spirit rising and I saw her get smaller and smaller and smaller as I just kept going higher and higher into the sky. I crossed over and I saw someone. Someone wearing a long flowy white robe was welcoming me. It was Jesus! I went right into his opened arms. “Can I talk to Jesus?” Neoshi asked.

“Yes” said my voice. But Cindia took a step back and was in the back seat.

Until my next post…

Love, Light and shadowy too, Cindia.

If you’d like to donate or support me and my blog: Cashapp $cincimma , Venmo @cincimma funds go towards learning materials, and monthly website domain fees.

It feels like many things have led me to this moment in time. But, I asked (don’t be afraid to do so) the Universe to bring me the tools, and the people that will help and guide me along this journey of mine called Mission Happy. I just came up with that if I am honest. I want to be my own source of happiness. And with that comes a lot of internal work, tears, time, etc.

Most recently, about like two years ago… I was asked if I had ever had a past life reading. I said no. That wouldn’t be the first or the last time that I’d be asked that question. Finally after Ms. V aka @the_realmedium suggested that her Instagram followers and clients read Many Lives Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss, MD. Click on the title for the Amazon description. But a brief summary of the book; a Psychiatrist taps into more than he could’ve ever imagined during hypnotherapy sessions with one of his patients. She started to recall her past lives, and through these sessions, the doctor was able to connect with the Ascended Masters. I read the book and knew that this was not just something that I wanted to do. But needed to do.

For personal reasons, I decided to be patient and prayed for a woman that looked like me, someone that I could clique with culturally. I don’t quite remember how I found her account on Instagram, but I did! Her name is Neoshi and her account is @neoshihypnosoulhealing . I liked her energy, and the interactions we’d have here and there in the comments section. I waited patiently until divine timing. And that was today March 29th 2022.

I made sure to charge my laptop the evening before. And had my noise canceling headphones ready. I had my side of the bed ready since I knew that that’s where I’d be for the session. I booked a three hour shadow work, past life and spirit guide session. I’d be able to connect to the past lives that are most affecting me today. I recommend going to her website and check out the details of what this kind of session includes.

We talked about some key people in my life and some that have passed that might show up. And we went over some of my questions to ask my spirit guide, a total of 15. And we were ready to begin… I don’t know how long it took to get me to the relaxed stage that she guided me to. But, the only other time that I’ve been that relaxed was today, and when I did salt water floating weeks ago. As a first timer, I assumed it would’ve taken longer than what it did. But since I haven’t watched the playback of my session (yes, it was recorded via zoom as it was a remote session) I can’t tell you if it took 30 minutes or less to get me there.

Let’s take you to the saddest moment in an earlier lifetime…“What do you see?” She asked me. Seeing darkness, I wondered if it didn’t work. So I said… “I see nothing. I see darkness.“ “Alright, can you get a sense of your body and how old you might be?” she asked. “I dont know… maybe 4-5 years old?“ I quickly learned to trust what was coming into my head. When she asked me what color skin I had a sense of knowing that it was a reddish brown, popped in and I reported that. That’s really important. To just trust and communicate back what it is you’re getting. Even if it doesn’t make any sense to you at that moment. Because many things didn’t make sense to me during the session that make a whole lot of sense to me now! Let me give you a rundown of what I saw then in that moment and what it means to me now.

I was in utter darkness. I could feel the cold walls around me. I could make out roots on the wall, and cold dirt. I was in a hole. I was crying. I started to cry while recalling. I felt unwanted, unloved, abandoned. Just typing this, I feel those emotions resurface, making a lump in my throat. I had been left there for a while. Not sure how long. I had reddish brown skin, I was barefoot, real thin with lanky arms, all I had on was some type of cloth wrapped around my pelvic area. I was sitting on the ground against the wall, holding my knees to my chest, sobbing. I’d look up and see a glimmer of light. I’d try to pull myself out but would slide back down. I had been left there… By my father in that lifetime. He was a bald man, very thin and frail, I watched him carry me in his arms and him placing me in the hole. He had a more golden brown skin tone. He was wearing a one shoulder cloth dress, and some handmade (well everything was handmade lol) sandals. Later on while I was channeling (a guide of mine spoke through me) I was able to see myself make it out of that hole. I’d peek out, and go back in. I’d peek out and go back in. And then I planted both bare feet out of that hole and bolted off with a new fire lit inside of me. The hole had been like a deep underground cave. So, when I came out it was as if I was walking right out. Not pulling myself out. But man that must’ve taken work for me to pull and pull myself up and then crawl. That must’ve taken my little boy self a lot of work. But, I did it!

That was one life time. Come back for the next. You don’t want to miss who makes an appearance. I’ll break these posts up into parts. If not, they’ll be extremely long!

Love, light, and the shadowy side too Cindia.

If you’d like to donate or support me and my blog: Cashapp $cincimma , Venmo @cincimma funds go towards learning materials, and monthly website domain fees.

30| PART TWO

29| LETS GO BACK, WAY BACK.