It feels like many things have led me to this moment in time. But, I asked (don’t be afraid to do so) the Universe to bring me the tools, and the people that will help and guide me along this journey of mine called Mission Happy. I just came up with that if I am honest. I want to be my own source of happiness. And with that comes a lot of internal work, tears, time, etc.

Most recently, about like two years ago… I was asked if I had ever had a past life reading. I said no. That wouldn’t be the first or the last time that I’d be asked that question. Finally after Ms. V aka @the_realmedium suggested that her Instagram followers and clients read Many Lives Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss, MD. Click on the title for the Amazon description. But a brief summary of the book; a Psychiatrist taps into more than he could’ve ever imagined during hypnotherapy sessions with one of his patients. She started to recall her past lives, and through these sessions, the doctor was able to connect with the Ascended Masters. I read the book and knew that this was not just something that I wanted to do. But needed to do.

For personal reasons, I decided to be patient and prayed for a woman that looked like me, someone that I could clique with culturally. I don’t quite remember how I found her account on Instagram, but I did! Her name is Neoshi and her account is @neoshihypnosoulhealing . I liked her energy, and the interactions we’d have here and there in the comments section. I waited patiently until divine timing. And that was today March 29th 2022.

I made sure to charge my laptop the evening before. And had my noise canceling headphones ready. I had my side of the bed ready since I knew that that’s where I’d be for the session. I booked a three hour shadow work, past life and spirit guide session. I’d be able to connect to the past lives that are most affecting me today. I recommend going to her website and check out the details of what this kind of session includes.

We talked about some key people in my life and some that have passed that might show up. And we went over some of my questions to ask my spirit guide, a total of 15. And we were ready to begin… I don’t know how long it took to get me to the relaxed stage that she guided me to. But, the only other time that I’ve been that relaxed was today, and when I did salt water floating weeks ago. As a first timer, I assumed it would’ve taken longer than what it did. But since I haven’t watched the playback of my session (yes, it was recorded via zoom as it was a remote session) I can’t tell you if it took 30 minutes or less to get me there.

Let’s take you to the saddest moment in an earlier lifetime…“What do you see?” She asked me. Seeing darkness, I wondered if it didn’t work. So I said… “I see nothing. I see darkness.“ “Alright, can you get a sense of your body and how old you might be?” she asked. “I dont know… maybe 4-5 years old?“ I quickly learned to trust what was coming into my head. When she asked me what color skin I had a sense of knowing that it was a reddish brown, popped in and I reported that. That’s really important. To just trust and communicate back what it is you’re getting. Even if it doesn’t make any sense to you at that moment. Because many things didn’t make sense to me during the session that make a whole lot of sense to me now! Let me give you a rundown of what I saw then in that moment and what it means to me now.

I was in utter darkness. I could feel the cold walls around me. I could make out roots on the wall, and cold dirt. I was in a hole. I was crying. I started to cry while recalling. I felt unwanted, unloved, abandoned. Just typing this, I feel those emotions resurface, making a lump in my throat. I had been left there for a while. Not sure how long. I had reddish brown skin, I was barefoot, real thin with lanky arms, all I had on was some type of cloth wrapped around my pelvic area. I was sitting on the ground against the wall, holding my knees to my chest, sobbing. I’d look up and see a glimmer of light. I’d try to pull myself out but would slide back down. I had been left there… By my father in that lifetime. He was a bald man, very thin and frail, I watched him carry me in his arms and him placing me in the hole. He had a more golden brown skin tone. He was wearing a one shoulder cloth dress, and some handmade (well everything was handmade lol) sandals. Later on while I was channeling (a guide of mine spoke through me) I was able to see myself make it out of that hole. I’d peek out, and go back in. I’d peek out and go back in. And then I planted both bare feet out of that hole and bolted off with a new fire lit inside of me. The hole had been like a deep underground cave. So, when I came out it was as if I was walking right out. Not pulling myself out. But man that must’ve taken work for me to pull and pull myself up and then crawl. That must’ve taken my little boy self a lot of work. But, I did it!

That was one life time. Come back for the next. You don’t want to miss who makes an appearance. I’ll break these posts up into parts. If not, they’ll be extremely long!

Love, light, and the shadowy side too Cindia.

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