53| ON THE MEND

in ,

I’ve been very sick the past two weeks. I had something with my gut and then my immune system took a hit from that and I got sick during that time. I’m still recovering as I type this. A handful of people were there for me and I feel so very blessed and thankful. People that texted me daily just to make sure that I was still hanging on. People sending me words of affirmations, because I was going stir crazy. The ones making sure that I got out of bed, ate or even drank water. Joe for being my nurse and helping me in ways I’d never be able to repay. I appreciate each and every single one of you.

A lot is going on behind the scenes in my personal life. Today it all felt like a lot. I checked in with people in my life that I knew would understand. And they helped bring me back down. It’s important to have people that you can say hey, I’m struggling today. And it be okay to do that.

If you’ve been around for a while you already know that this time of the year is usually triggering for me and this year is really heightened . It seems like the Holidays kick off every year earlier and earlier. I am trying to learn how to not let it trigger me as much. But it’s hard. I miss my mother as it is. When her transition anniversary is around what we’ve been programmed as it being the happiest time of the year… And it really is a happiest time for many and that’s cool. But just not my cup of tea anymore. And I’ll be honest, it hadn’t been that was for me before she’d even passed. I just need to not let it have as much power over my emotions. I need to ground. I need to recenter and do the things that I know help. I feel like I’ve been so caught up with everything else that’s going on that I feel off on my boundaries and spiritual practices. When that happens I feel out of it.

Stick around for part two… I will share one of the ways that I get back into my Spiritual practices and routine.

Love, light, the shadows too—-Cin.

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51| THIRTY SEVEN

in ,

I knew since the day after my last birthday that I wanted to go away for my 37th this year. I just wanted to be in good company and the beach. Not many know but last year I was supposed to go to Florida with friends, but I canceled at the last minute due to the anxious state that I was in at that time. I’m doing better thanks to the help and tips from a coach and my hard work in following through with our sessions and practicing what I was learning. I decided to try it again this time around. I’d been missing Xenia and wanted to see her home and celebrate with her.

I was supposed to fly out Thursday 8/24 at 6:15am but the flight got de-planed and delayed for 5 1/2 hours due to issues with the smoke sensors in the luggage area of the plane. I shouldn’t have to say but I was disappointed. I’d lost most of my first day there. The saying “everything happens for a reason” helped me cope lol. I was just happy to be reunited with Xenia, and that the flight made it safely.

We went to her beautiful house and I’m just so proud of her! She’s doing the damn thang! She’s such a hard and smart worker, and her team at work adore her! I mean…They better! She had the guestroom where I’d be sleeping beautifully decorated! I felt so loved! Everything about our time together was very thoughtful and special. Thanks again my love!

Here are some of the pictures from the days leading up to and on my birthday. You’ll see many of the pictures from our beach day, birthday brunch date at a 2D Cafe, our visit to Fairgrounds St Pete, we went axe throwing (my first time) and pics from my last day there. She took me to her job to meet her co workers and just to see where she spends most her time. And I was able to meet the office pet— Scoot the Chameleon. It’s funny how much I looked forward to meet her. My menstrual came down on my birthday and it was brutal! Even with pain meds. My body just wanted to relax and let it pass. So we ordered in and binged watched some TV shows together. It’s something we’ve always wanted to do. I really, really enjoyed our time together! My heart is full.

Thanks for stopping by and reliving my Birthday with me!

Love, light, the shadow too—-Cin.

If you’d like to donate or support me and my blog: Cashapp $cincimma , Venmo @cincimma funds go towards learning materials, and monthly website domain fees.