I always battle between what I’ll share and what I won’t, about how deep I want to get on here. But today I felt a push to say “fuck it”. And here I am just getting some things off my chest.

These past few months have been rough! Mentally, spiritually, everythingally (lol). A lot has been going on behind the scenes, some of which not many are privy too. But it is what it is for now. A lot of my personal relationships are… Falling apart? Changing? I don’t know the right adjectives to use. And I’ll be the first to admit that I am a creature of routines, and don’t really enjoy change. I roll with it when it happens. I learn to adapt. Through prayers, tears, sleepy days, therapy l, journaling, reading (and listening to) books and of course the help of my friends and few family members… I get by.

I was recently slapped on the face by the fact that I don’t ask for help. Or don’t like to ask for help? Both. I’ve been witness to the many times that people are quick to remind others of the time that they did X,Y and Z for them. Ive picked up on the tone of voice and how quickly it changes. But I’m working on that. Because no one can do this thing called life without help. Usually the most successful people require the most help.

Anyway, I’m just taking it a day at a time. Okay not today though lol. I am dreading going back to work on Monday. I’ve been out for three weeks due to a surgery that I had. The recovery turned out to be harder on my body than we all expected. And let me tell you, being in bed for almost two of those weeks was rough mentally and on my body. My heart goes out to those that don’t have a choice due to their health or physical limitations. You see that? Yes, I have my low moments, but I always point out everything that I am thankful for in my life. Being out of commission for that long helped me see certain things in a different perspective. I also made a plan with myself and a goal to reach before the end of the year. I won’t share what it is just yet but just know that I will succeed!

So, just know that when you see me out living my version of the good life, know that it was not easy. And know that it was in no shape or form an “overnight success” story. I’ve already told you all it’s taken.

Anyway, enjoy some pictures from the last couple of months:

School is set to start in the next two weeks. My 37th Birthday is approaching. But don’t fret! Summer is until 9/21 lol 😩🫠 That’s what I tell myself. I love Summer days and nights. I hope you enjoy the remainder of this season.

Love, light, the shadow too— Cin.

This year has surely come in with a bang. Energetically for me it has. Things that I could ignore in the past, truths that I used to avoid facing, I simply cannot. To be honest, I felt a switch around the month of July. I woke up one morning and just felt, different. Like if something had switched. I actually wondered if I had jumped into another timeline because everything just felt different. And its been that way since. I’ve also been getting more clarity. I have been trying to look at everything from different perspectives. I tend to overthink, and want things to be perfect, and that often leads to me just talking myself out of shit. I can see when I am doing that now and nip it. Patience is one thing that I really need during this time. To trust that as long as I am doing my part in aligning myself with the future/life that I want, whatever is for me will find its way to me. I also listen to what my gut tells me to do. For example yesterday…

It was Sunday and since I wasn’t going to wash my hair (Sundays are usually my selfcare days) and the outdoor temperature wasn’t too low, I made the time to show up (a future post is loading on this subject) for myself, and went to my little corner of the World where I can go and be and soak up some sun rays, and spend time with God outside and spend time with the Nature Spirits. Allowing them to work on me and to assist me energetically and spiritually. I usually take a lot of pictures while I am there. But yesterday, I really wanted to be in the moment and just soak it all in. I am glad that I did that because today has been interesting to say the least. Busy day at work, one of the busiest days thus far. And, overall I just feel that it helped prepare me for the remainder of this week. Here are some pictures:

My favorite shoes at the moment. Imma wear these bad boys in the Springtime time too!

I have been back and forth with my personal Instagram account. Some days it’s too much for me. I feel overwhelmed. And other things that I’ll keep to myself for now.

I’d like to ask for prayers and some good vibes please. I think thats something we all need more of. Prayers, and others praying for us.

I pray for you.

Love, light, and the shadow too—Cin.

47| ITS BEEN A WHILE

46| ACCEPTANCE